I Should Just Go Naked

I love shoes!

I love jewelry!

I love clothes!

I love makeup!

I love… a bunch of stuff! Who’s super easy to buy a gift for? This girl, that’s who!

So about 2 weeks ago, I wore one of my favorite and most freaking adorable pairs of shoes! Omgosh! Dorbz! I heard a little bit of a weird clicking. I sat down behind my desk and looked at the shoe to see if maybe there was a tack or a rock stuck in the bottom or something. When I pulled up my shoe, this is what I saw…

omgosh the ankle strap is starting to detach!

I think to myself for a second and can picture a pair of flip flops behind my back desk. I get up to walk back and check and feel something strange under my feet. Literally not 5 seconds after noticing the ankle strap, I take two steps, look down, and see… THIS

You observant ones already see the ordeal! This is NOT the same shoe that had the ankle strap coming out. Mmmmmmnope! It’s the OTHER ONE! Are you frigging KIDDING ME!?! Seriously! 

Initially I had some hope that that little strap ordeal could be repaired by our awesome local cobbler, but this freaking fiasco?!? Good LORDIE! 

Thankfully, I did have that pair of flip flops behind my desk. They came in a summer gift basket I had won in a raffle. They pretty much completely RUINED my outfit, but at least I had something to out on my feet- albeit 3 sizes too big!

After work, I went to the shoe magician of our town. “Because I really like you, I’m not going to pull your chain, give you false hope, and take your money. These things are toast.” But indeed it was true. These… (Dramatic sigh) SHOES! They’re so freaking CUTE!! The garbage? It can’t be! (At current writing, it’s been a good couple plus weeks and I still have not brought myself to actually throw them away. lol

So the day after the tragic shoe incident, I was (again and as usual) put together head to toe (and no ugly flip flops). I’m walking from point A to point B in my classroom- not weaving through heavy traffic nor breaking up a fight and all of a sudden my (awesome) necklace falls to the floor! Are you JOKING?!?

Next night was Friday and I was sitting at a minor league baseball game wearing one of my favorite (you can’t even fathom the bad-assedness) rings! Feeeeeer-SSSS! 

See?!? One moment I’m a nut-ball taking a selfie with an unsuspecting photo-bomber 

and the next minute… tragedy strikes… AGAIN! I hear a ‘clink’ on the metal bleachers and see what fell! The dang jewel off the ring! 

That green stone belongs ON the ring!

You think that’s all?!? Mmmmmmnope. Why? Why stop now?!? On Tuesday, I leaned down to get something out of the sink in my classroom. I pop up because I heard the door (right behind me) start to open. I did say, “pop up.” Mmmhmmmm you guessed it! Snapped my necklace right apart! MOTHER!! Omgosh if I hadn’t had a room of 2nd Graders and now a guest- parent who withdrew their child the last week of school because she lost bus privileges 😦 I surely would have lost it and probably had an SOB or F-word! 

If I didn’t have photographic evidence I GUARANTEE NOBODY would believe me, but yesterday- Monday (less than a week since the last ‘incident’), I had YET ANOTHER- I kid you not- episode! MmmmmwEll…

I had purchased some sandals online for one of my daughters, but they were too small, so I decide to go ahead and wear them myself. They were a little big, but totally worked. No problem all day. Changed to exercise, but then to go out to dinner, showered and put them back on again and THIS HAPPENED!! 

What does all this mean?!? I seriously do not know, but I’d like to figure it out before something more significant gets broken! I seriously cannot keep dealing with these tragic losses! I can’t be held accountable for how I process these incidents like others may due to the fact that I carry such baggage in this area! It’s unfathomable! Better yet…

What’s a girl to DO?!? Not accessorizing is  flat out not an option! I don’t know what to do! I haven’t all of a sudden hit a spell of clumsiness! This strain of bad luck is seriously giving me the blues! What in the HECK is goin’ on here? 


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